Life Reimagined with Wendy Deacon

What’s in Your Way? Is it YOU?

June 04, 2020 Wendy Deacon
Life Reimagined with Wendy Deacon
What’s in Your Way? Is it YOU?
Chapters
Life Reimagined with Wendy Deacon
What’s in Your Way? Is it YOU?
Jun 04, 2020
Wendy Deacon

What is in your way?  Is it a real roadblock or something you believe is there but is untested?  Could it even be YOU standing in your own way?

Join me as I discuss how to figure out what may be in the way of you achieving your next fill in the blank and how to get around and finally lay the productive stepping stones that will get you there.

Show Notes Transcript

What is in your way?  Is it a real roadblock or something you believe is there but is untested?  Could it even be YOU standing in your own way?

Join me as I discuss how to figure out what may be in the way of you achieving your next fill in the blank and how to get around and finally lay the productive stepping stones that will get you there.

1.6 What’s in Your Way?  Is it YOU?

What is in your way?  Is it a real roadblock or something you believe is there but is untested?  Could it even be YOU standing in your own way?

Join me as I discuss how to figure out what may be in the way of you achieving your next fill in the blank and how to get around and finally lay the productive stepping stones that will get you there.

INTRO

Hey guys!

Last  week I asked you to identify a new personal adjective or label you'd like to add to your life resume.  How you want to add to your own mental avatar description or image of yourself, like "Author" for me,  and what you plan to do to achieve.

Today I'll cover first identifying what you want, then what is blocking you, figuring out if it's perceived or real and finally how to get around and start making progress to actually get there.

WHAT you want

First I want to acknowledge that figuring this out is tough - what you want.  Not the way or the context we often cover it in daily conversations on the surface - like "I want to buy X" or "I want to see my friend" but getting down to deeper issues, like what you really want and what you believe will make you happy, can be daunting and challenging.

For those of us who say we want to live with purpose and intention, this means you really have to start facing this tough question.  And the core of this is also critical and why this is important. 

Why is acknowledging what YOU want important at this time? When you are clear on what you want - that clarity centers you. There is an interesting shift that occurs when you are face to face with what you want because from there planning and building takes on a different purpose.

Many of us are diligent in our teenage years with our parents' help in creating the steps to either a career or college and then focused on getting our adult lives established.  Our think about the way you're raising or have raised your children and how you've instilled the importance of taking thoughtful steps toward creating a responsible and happy adult life.

Are you walking the talk?  Are you diligently and thoughtfully creating the life you want?  Especially now that you most likely realize at this stage in our lives that life IS short and that we may not have enough time to do all we want.  So if you haven't yet really identified the 1 next new label you want to add into your life, stop here and do so.  

If you are asking at this point how can I do this when I have so many other labels and things to juggle. Trust me I get it.  But look at the cost of not doing this for yourself.  Not really creating the life you want. What is that costing you? 

So I would encourage you to carve out some time – maybe before the family gets up, maybe take an extra 30 minutes before going home and spend time thinking about this.  Then write it down somewhere – somewhere that you know you will see. Keeping a visual reminder of what you want to focus will support your focus on this area.

It sets the foundation for a new goal and one that you believe will directly contribute to living the life you want.  It can be Author, Artist, Peace-keeper, Student, Meditator, Mentor, Donor, etc…..so many options and only limited by your imagination.

Ok, now that you've got your next label, what is blocking or stopping you from pursuing what you want? Not an easy question to confront, right?  I know and I have been there. But it is more important for you to think through – why am I not taking steps towards the life I want? Why am I not focusing more on the things that really make me happy? Why do I start and not finish what I am pursuing?  Dig in and ask yourself these questions. Consider writing down what you feel stops you, and then write down at least one thing you can commit to in reversing that behavior. For example, if your obstacle is financial. Then consider generating income from a side hobby – something that can help support your dream. You may also consider crowdfunding. Maybe you feel you don’t have the skills needed to accomplish your goal. If that is you, commit to developing those skills. The key here is to look that obstacle(s) head on and change the way it has affected your ability to pursue your goals

Typically there isn't some magic finish line but instead taking the steps daily in that direction until you feel it actually fits.

A great example for me is the label of Author.  For a long time, I've considered that I wanted to write a book, but didn't know what the topic would be nor when I'd actually do it.  I was enjoying my career and caught up in the day to day activities and never really addressed it.  Several factors played into this for me and more detail is included in my book, Destination Unknown, but the short version for today's discussion is that I decided I wanted a change in my life and that it was time to change my career and day to day activities.  That I wanted to change my having to travel so much for the work that I previously had loved but now was realizing I was ready to move on to something new and something different.

It definitely did not happen overnight and it took months of researching and soul searching to identify what I really wanted to create in my next chapter and figure out how to create the actual steps to accomplish.

It is perceived or real?

The next important consideration is if the roadblock is perceived or real.

For many people, it's more perceived but it is most likely a combination of both so let me explain.

A real roadblock to a personal goal could be financial.  Maybe you're financially supporting yourself and 2 kids and don't have enough savings to quit today and take a big risk on your dream job.  A real roadblock to adding "Artist" behind your name is you cannot afford the paints to start painting.  These are not insurmountable but can take a bit longer for you to circumnavigate.  You can still take steps forward and just understand that it will take some time to get to your end result but that it's still worth the work to advance.  Using this example of financial roadblocks, you could decide TODAY that you will stop buying your daily $4 coffee beverage at Starbucks (apologies to Starbucks here) and by the end of 90 days, you have over $350 toward either paying for a course to build the skills for the dream job or you could now buy your paints.  You can also take free steps like researching online to further develop what you want to do.

A perceived roadblock could be in your head.  It could be self-doubt.  That you're not good enough or that you don't have enough experience in whatever to succeed if you make that change.  It could be just weird insecurities like that you're too old to change careers. It could be letting go of old ways of thinking like "it's more secure to work for a big company" or "you have to work for an employer who provides good benefits."  

This is where having someone in your life that speaks into you is helpful. I speak more on this in another episode – building your SO community.

Or the roadblock could b YOU.  Be honest….is it you?  Have you heard the recommendation to "quit standing on your own foot?"  Many times it's just failure to face it - not stepping up to determine what it is you want and how you'll get there.  Roadblocks, real, perceived or both, can always be overcome or navigated around with time.  But its very, very easy to get caught up in our daily lives and keep putting off the tough questions that, in the end, make our life more enjoyable and personally gratifying.  It's sooooo easy to avoid it.  

But there are consequences to avoidance and "not making a choice."  Because, as I've shared in a previous podcast, not making a choice IS a choice.  It's an active decision to postpone the tough question and the planning and the implementing until one day, months or years from now, you realize you never really got to doing what YOU want.  That is the real problem and failure.  When you keep going through your life, passively instead of actively driving.  When you continue holding onto preconceived ideas or not address the roadblocks or taking the time to identify IT and how to get there.  That is when you let yourself down and that will be one more day you've spent apart from what you really desire.

So do something about it!  2020 has ushered in many changes and there are many more to come in defining what our personal life and what our work life is like.  

Going back to my example of wanting to change careers or job roles.  Many won't return to an 8-5 at an office 5 days a week.  Many are telecommuting or looking for other jobs.  Many aren't spending hours in rush hour traffic.  The US work day is evolving quickly and a bit more every day - we don't have it figured out now, right after we're tiptoeing our community re-opens after COVID, and we won't for a while.  So it's a good time to reflect and challenge yourself to see what you want and identify if the roadblock is real or perceived.  In this specific example, if the roadblock is real or perceived and if you cannot completely get around it just yet, what steps can YOU take today toward resolution?  Can you request to work home part time instead of returning to the office daily?  Can you offer to work either fewer hours or on contract if they can't keep you as previously a full time staffer?  Can that serve as your opportunity to put time each week into developing your next career step?

I  detail these ideas further in my book currently available on Amazon in print or kindle format, Destination Unknown, and I encourage you to join our free DestinationU Facebook Community and our weekly challenge.  This week we are focused on this topic and will hear from others how they're dealing with their real or perceived roadblocks.  Next week I'll release a free resource to help with such difficult personal questions and creating the first critical steps so join our FB group or check out my website at www.destination-u.net to subscribe and ensure you'll receive.

Thanks so much for listening and I invite you to lean in a bit further with us. I hope that in what I've shared so far today, you feel that there is always a way around any roadblocks and always a path to what you're seeking.   

So 1) how will you dedicate time today and tomorrow to digging in to see what's holding you back, to figure out if it's real or perceived and if it could be you, and to start with the key steps to actually get there.  

Get over yourself.  Get out there and get to your NEXT.